Inbox

[withmeinparadise]

Code once I'm not on a phone

Comments

@kyna.medina

[evocation]

[It takes Kyna a couple of days after their disastrous beach outing to message Sam, but eventually, she does. Mulling over her conversation with Ian has taught her a few things, namely that Sam has a lot of the same hangups she's always had, that she's putting way too much pressure on both of them, and most importantly that she's a total idiot.

So. Here goes nothing.]

hey, um
do you have a second to talk?
like this, i mean
we don't have to meet up anywhere
unless you want to
then we totally can
this isn't some big scary discussion or anything, i promise
i wanted to ask you something
and say hi
so uh
hi

[Wow, the eloquence. He's absolutely going to be able to tell that she's nervous, and she's already cringing at herself.]

[withmeinparadise]

[ This absolutely seems like a big scary discussion to him from where he's standing. She sounds like she's leading up to a bombshell, and for once, Sam's got no idea what it is. Everything that needed to be said got said at the beach.

But hell, it's a slow shift behind his particular bar at the casino and he's a curious man by nature--if a suspicious one. So, while he's drying glasses, he fires off an answer. ]

hi

i'm so sorry for this lmfao

[evocation]

hey

[Nailed it.]

okay i just have to do this all in one big chunk or i'll puke so
the first part isn’t a question actually
i’m sorry about the other day at the beach
if i made you uncomfortable or sent mixed signals or
anything
but i’ve been thinking and
maybe we could go on a date?
not anything intense
you don’t have to like, get permission to court me and ask after my dowry or some shit
i know that probably makes no sense with everything that i
you know
but for most of my life whenever anyone said anything too cuddly i’d break out in hives
usually i wouldn’t even stay the night when i slept with people
i had a strict rule against sex with friends
i’m really really bad at this shit
so i kept overthinking it because we’re already close and i thought i’d totally fuck something up and you’d
i don’t know

[Figure it was too much work and bail. Or he’d get bored of her, or they’d start sleeping together and she’d fall for him and he wouldn’t be interested, or or or. She’s not going to bring that up, though. She’s hoping if she admits how scared and out of her depth she is with this sort of thing without putting so much focus on him, maybe it’ll make him less uncomfortable.]

i’m an idiot and i’ve been psyching myself out
that’s the summary
you don't have to say anything to that i'm just
i’m sorry
i bet you felt me getting nervous sometimes, right?
but i want to stop being an idiot
you’re super charming and totally magnetic and i was trying really hard not to check you out the other day
so maybe we could go somewhere fun and see what happens?
just go with the flow
like we usually do, i guess
except we won’t be dancing around each other this time
unless you actually want to go dancing i guess
oh my god, pretend i never said that

[withmeinparadise]

[ It takes him what, seven hours to reply? Eight? Maybe twelve. First there's I'm not touching this, I got work to do, and then conferring with Nathan, and then getting some shuteye. And when he wakes up again, he still doesn't have any goddamned clue how to respond to it, so he confers with Nathan some more.

Nathan's a goddamn saint.

Anyway, he finally tries to answer. Twelve hours later, but he's trying. ]

you just...wanna go on a date?
because that's a lot of words for wanting to go on a date.

[evocation]

[Kyna spends most of that time stress eating Lance's muffins and pacing and feeling utterly embarrassed, but hey, he replies. He didn't ghost her.]

yeah
just a date
sorry, i didn't mean to send you a novel
i didn't think it would be fair to ask without telling you why i changed my mind, you know?
and then i got nervous and uh
it got a little out of hand

[Oof.]

but i don't really have a plan beyond the "date" part
neither of us really do that ever so we can just try it and see what happens, you know?
i'll wear something cute and we can hang out
it'll be an adventure
if we have fun, cool, and if we don't, that's okay too
no pressure

[Because she thinks Ian is right—she's been putting way too much pressure on herself about everything, including this. Maybe she just needs to meet Sam where he is and not worry about what could happen.]

[withmeinparadise]

[ A little bitch would probably go back to his brother right this instant and go okay, now what? And Sam is trying real damn hard not to be a little bitch about this.

Okay, stop thinking about the great wall of text for a second. What do YOU want? ]

don't get me wrong, but that's what we've been doing the whole time.

[evocation]

yeah
it totally is
except this time i'm not gonna be a coward about it

[withmeinparadise]

i mean




does it have to be a date?
i'm not really what you'd call the dating type.

[evocation]

[Ian predicted this one too, and Kyna considered it before she took this plunge, so it doesn't throw her off as much as it might.

Really, she thinks a lot of their "hang outs" might be considered dates by most people, if she hadn't been psyching herself out, so does it really matter what they call it? Maybe not.]

okay
what should we say it is?

[withmeinparadise]

we gotta have a name for it?
you could come over right now, we can see how things go. or i could come over there.

[evocation]

[Oh. That's quick.]

like
right this second?

[withmeinparadise]

[ And that's the kind of answer that sounds like hesitation even without any tone to go with it. ]

you wanna?

[evocation]

sure
i just wasn't expecting you to
uh
be okay with it that fast

[withmeinparadise]

we already hang out. and you dress however you feel like.
only difference between that and this is sex.

[evocation]

wow, blunt
what happened to all that charm?

[withmeinparadise]

you don't like blunt now?

[evocation]

have you ever had sex with the empathy bond?

[withmeinparadise]

why?

[evocation]

because i have, and it's pretty intense
you feel all of the other person's arousal and need and every tiny reaction to everything you do
so yeah, you can come over
but i was planning on easing in so it wasn't overwhelming for you

[withmeinparadise]

kyna
we do the empathy bond thing all the time. i'm not gonna get overwhelmed here.

[evocation]

okay
then i'm ready when you are

[withmeinparadise]

wait. lance isn't there is he?

[ don't get him wrong, he'll fuck a girl in an apartment lance is in, he just needs prior notice. ]

[evocation]

nope
it's your lucky day

[withmeinparadise]

damn straight it is
see you in a few

[evocation]

okay
if you wear a hawaiian shirt i'm kicking you out